There are a ton of awards. In my opinion, too many.

It used to be the Academy Awards. And that was it. Nothing more.

Of course it makes sense to have other awards. We do need the Grammys, Emmys, and the Tonys as well. But then, we went crazy.

For movies, you have the Director’s Guild of America Award and the Screen Actors Guild Awards. Television has over 15 different awards at the same time, from the Annie Awards to the Writers Guild of America. Don’t even get me started on the amount of music awards there are.

However, despite my hate for having so many awards shows, I do recognize that tons of people have opinions, and want actors, directors, etc. to know what those opinions are. That’s why we have the people’s choice awards; because we, the people of the United States of America, are the most vocal. We watch these shows and criticize more than any critic, and we enjoy arguing with other people about which show is better. So, of course, I’m okay with people having opinions and having us, America, put our hand in the award-show shuffle.

There have multple people’s choice awards. The ESPYs is an example where the fans choose which athlete wins an ESPY, an award given on ESPN to athletes on their success for that year. However, the major ones for me are the simplest and directed towards the lowest-denominator. There are three major people’s choice awards: The Kids Choice Awards, The Teen Choice Awards, and the People’s Choice Awards.

I like the Kids Choice Awards. Kids love it too. Kids want to vote for and see their favorite shows and actors get put on stage and thank their fans. Kids love having the control, and they vote based on solely on who’s their favorite. Of course, we’ll meet the Justin Bieber’s of our day that will get votes on looks. But for the most part, the Kids are right about which shows are better. When Lizzy McGuire and Even Stevens were very popular, it was in good reason. Not only did kids relate to Hilary Duff’s or Shia LaBeouf’s or Christy Carlson Romano’s character, the shows were nicely produced. They weren’t over cheesy (can’t say the same about the movies though), and Disney hasn’t really produced shows like them since (yeah, yeah; Hannah Montana, That’s So Raven, Wizards of Waverly Place, blah, blah. Honestly, only Hannah Montana was a good production show. Everything else is pretty off). But really, the point is that when kids vote, for the most part, they are also right.

Then the kids get older. They become teens…and then to adults. And we then screw it up.

At least for the People’s Choice Awards, they try to get Queen Latifah to “raise the roof” and make it into a fun night. Ultimately, it really isn’t. But the people still get a good night of who won and who didn’t. At least with the Kids and People’s Choice, the choices are not too predictable.

But the gosh darn teenages. I can’t stand it.

I’ll be honest. I have beef with the Teen Choice Awards. It’s practically identical to the MTV Awards, or at least the exactly same people watch it (Take 2010 and look at the results for both…almost identical). But otherwise, people vote not on who actually did a good job. It’s about the heart-throbs. It’s about the hot guys. It’s about the most talked about people at the time of the show. And I call that fickle voting.

Now, it would not bother me if Twilight was actually an great production. Now, don’t get me wrong. They re-created the novel very well; but it will never reach the production value of Harry Potter. Now some people cringed. But it could be for either side, pro-Harry or pro-Twilight. There’ll be some fighting there. But there’s not even a comparison. In 2010, Harry Potter got nominated for Oscars and Twilight got nominated for Razzies. But teenagers, they don’t care about quality. They care about what Sarah is talking about at the water cooler.

Isn’t that interesting? I mean, we knew kids didn’t care about school, but they also don’t care about quality on television either. Umm….that’ll be an interesting topic for another blog.

Anyways, time and time again, I watch the TCAs and I’m always disappointed with what America spits out. Let’s take 2010 for example. Avatar won the category for Sci-Fi films. Okay, it was deserved. So there are times that America gets it right. But Tina Fey and Ashton Kutcher also won their categories that night. Now, when you hear those names, you automatically think, “Well, they’re funny. Of course they deserve it.” I agree. The TCA isn’t based on performance; it’s based on names, familiarity, likability. NOT whether a performance was good or not. Now, get ready to cringe. Tina Fey and Ashton Kutcher won Best Comedy Actress/Actor that year with movies Date Night and Killers, respectively. In case you still don’t get it, they both tanked in every way. Well, Killers tanked in everyway. Ashton also won an award for his performance on Killers: A Razzie award.

Still not convinced? The Hissy Fit category went to Miley Cyrus (Sean Combs, nominated, should have won). Channing Tadum won Action/Adventure Actor for GI Joe: Rise of Cobra (everyone else on the nomination should have won). Liam Hemsworth won Best Breakout Actor for The Last Song (Seriously? Quinton Aaron, Jesse Eisenburg, Aaron Johnson lost to HIM?). Taylor Swift won Best Breakout Actress for Valentine’s Day (Worst. Acting. Ever.). Nina Dobrev of The Vampire Diaries won Breakout TV Actress over Sarah Hyland of Modern Family (just…no). The Vampire Diaries won for Best Fantasy/Sci-Fi TV Series (in a catergory of Fringe, Lost, and Smallville…really?). Jonas Brothers for Best Comedy Actor (the comedy show Jonas ended that year; Jim Parson and Steve Carell’s shows are still going…so exactly how funny was it?).

If that list doesn’t get you, then here’s the motherload. Megan Fox won Best Thriller Actress . No…not for Transformers. For Jennifer’s Body.

TCA is all about having fun. I get that. But that’s why you have a comedian be your host for the evening. I think that TCA has its place in our culture. They have categories that I would like to see winners in (Hook-up (Music Collaboration), TV Parental Unit, Male-Female Reality Stars, Male-Female TV/Movie Scene Stealer, etc.). But, rightfully so, the TCA hits the demographics it wants: Girls who care only about looks and what’s the trending topics. They don’t care about quality. The 2010 movie that won the Best Movie award for the Academy Awards wasn’t even nominated for a TCA. I’m not saying that TCA should model the Academy. But it should at least nominate legit nominees instead of Twilight-ing every category, especially when a movie nominated the previous year is re-nominated for the new year.

So, the winner for the Worst Awards Show is…The Teen Choice Awards.

Get them a surfboard. I’m sure the quality sucks, but at least it’ll look good on TV.