I don’t know why I decided to watch the 4th episode of Selfie. It might have more to do with my writing procrastination among the other shows. But alas, here I am writing a review about it. Figures.

But the 4th installment of the series, which had higher viewership week-to-week, didn’t really impress. I have been begging for an episode involving Charmonique Whitaker (Da’Vine Joy Randolph) and when I finally have it, I was very underwhelmed. Perhaps it was because she spent most of the episode with another guy and two other high school friends we, the audience, had no care for. Also, having the crush becoming a priest and lecturing Charmonique on her life-choices seem…not very priest like. Also, not as interesting. Oh yeah, Charmonique went to a high school reunion. She wanted to go back and get the man she lost in high school. He becomes a priest. You’re now caught up.

As far as the primary storylines, Eliza’s homework was to be selfless while Henry’s homework was to be workless. But, Eliza’s Instagram rival was poised to surpasses Eliza in number of followers if she didn’t go out (and be selfish). In other dire straits, Henry was about have his first product line taken down without a revamp marketing strategy. Oh, the agony.

Of course, Charmonique’s babysitter got sick and cancelled. So Eliza, helping Charmonique get prepared as her selfless thing, eventually does a bigger selfless thing. Well, was forced into doing a selfless thing to babysit. Henry comes over to help (to find the little man and Eliza pretending to be in a club among Charmonique’s crazy large hair wigs, valued at $20k…which would make Dalia go crazy-I’m sorry, I keep doing that…making Suburgatory references. THE SHOW WAS CANCELLED, JOE! STOP IT!

Long story short, Eliza does something selfless, Henry thinks of something to save his product line (so that means, he lost the challenge), and Eliza left the wig door open, ruining Charmonique’s wigs. Again. Worth $20k. So yeah, no one won today. Also, more and more, I feel Tess and George of Suburgatory are somewhere in this universe.

This show is going nowhere, and with double the episodes from here on out, they’re probably pulling a Scrubs (the bad ABC version, not good NBC version): play it as often as you can to burn off as many episodes as you can.

However, the kid’s crying was hilarious. Even if his acting is horrendous.

Previously: Episode 3 Review